Forego the Parable

...my knees are cold

1,111 notes

vanityfair:

If Trump intends to declare his candidacy for the presidency, as he has so often threatened, the issue of his comb-over could become a Constitutional matter. In the interest of putting this controversy to rest, Vanity Fair demands that Trump release a notarized certificate from a barber proving the veracity of his hair. In the event that significant members of the Balder community question the validity of the notarized certificate, we insist that Trump submit to air, wind, and Dutch rub tests to be administered by an independent board-certified hair-care expert that will debunk, once and for all, these corrosive conspiracy theories.
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vanityfair:

If Trump intends to declare his candidacy for the presidency, as he has so often threatened, the issue of his comb-over could become a Constitutional matter. In the interest of putting this controversy to rest, Vanity Fair demands that Trump release a notarized certificate from a barber proving the veracity of his hair. In the event that significant members of the Balder community question the validity of the notarized certificate, we insist that Trump submit to air, wind, and Dutch rub tests to be administered by an independent board-certified hair-care expert that will debunk, once and for all, these corrosive conspiracy theories.

[read more]

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    This would also put to rest those stories that Trump is an almost lifelike robot controlled by his hair, which is...
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